Where is the hickey?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
