you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
