I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
