Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
