we're chasing vodka with high fives
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
