...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's blow job season.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I supernannyed him into submission
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
