brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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