next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
