I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Panties = found
Randomize
