see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
