i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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