my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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