Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
