Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
be right there i have to get my cape
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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