Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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