Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
