Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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