You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Randomize
