oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
