she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
