Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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