We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
