just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
