What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hope mine doesn't look like that
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
