Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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