I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
