She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Oh god it's open bar.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
