I think I died a long time ago.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
