we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
