Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
