in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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