Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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