I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
