You really coming over, don't trick.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
