I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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