***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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