As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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