At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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