hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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