I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
