I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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