Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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