He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
