idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
