I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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