white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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