i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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