I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
zippers are such a cool invention
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
