absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
