Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
