I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
