We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
